About how to be mean.

You know, I'm really surprised how easy it is to just slip right into another identity - as if the earlier me just never existed. So much so, sometimes I feel like a classic split personality. I'm suddenly standing up for myself; suddenly letting myself actually win in competitive stuff. I guess, at some level, I always thought competitive winning was impolite... (!)

So, yea, I'm a total nut job. Worse, I psychoanalyze all this to my wit's end. But the interesting part is, how the rest of the world reacts to such a dramatic change. Of course, there is some level of stickiness (economics terminology!) or (if you prefer jurisprudential terms :-) ) social habit or custom, which prevents people from sensing the psychological change immediately. After all, I still look the same.

Well, about the closest people could get to describing my new-found (or newly-displayed? fine line of difference there...) confidence, is to say I've suddenly become "mean". Now is that a wholly good thing?

But a word of caution: it's not failure, or jealousy, which most endangers success. It's lack of faith. Several people - particularly ones you trust THE most - have questioned my abilities after my "winning habit" resolution begun. I know they have good intentions, but you have to teach yourself to draw that line, to stop listening to them, before you make a drastic life change.